You have to look at life differently. You should look into therapy. You need a boost of confidence , also if you're serious you won't take those last ones either. Quit weed get motivated. I've been there man it took me getting busted and 28 years. It doesn't take much to get serious charges. I hope you find strength within yourself to quit. You also need to realise how crazy it is even the fact you're alive. It's actually amazing you are even alive. You were given this life with a purpose man. You went to school stinky with a purpose now take your life and go shine light into someone else that might need a shower. Otherwise you're just wasting it. If you can't even stop weed then the other shot will be back. I'm can promise as someone that has done many doses it never get better then the first. Good luck.