In the closet and God I'm so lonely. How do you guys deal with this?

I'm assuming you're Asian, since you're in our sub-Reddit. Chinese New Year of the Dog is February 16, 2018.

I think you still have some time to soul-search inquiries to your sexuality and start your new year right and truthful by being you. Part of your loneliness stems from your own self-induced predicament you position yourself. Depending on where you live, I am also aware that coming out of the closet is easier said than done. You'll have to be careful with who you come out to. This depends on the people who you surround yourself with.

If you're seriously questioning your sexual orientation, you won't know, unless you actually date or physically intimate with the same sex. For me, I don't have to date. I just knew. This is a humorous anecdote—when I look at sexy images of women versus sexualized images of men, the images of men always (beyond of reasonable doubt) simulate me. I'd pull up images of heterosexual sex and female anatomy...none whats-so-ever did anything to simulate me. Contrast my experience to watching male-male intimate acts and images of the image. AHA! Something is happening. That's how I know I was gay. There is no doubt in my mind.

Keep in mind, think about your GF you've been seeing for 18 months. She will feel hurt, unless she suspects you. Even then, the ending of a relationship will feel something of a loss. The two of you have invested and placed effort together towards one another for 18 months. That's something. Thank about her well-being.

Your GF deserves to be with someone without any doubts towards his orientation. I honestly do not think you're being fair to her. She's another person, a fellow human being. She's not some prop or toy you could toss and give up when you no longer need her. Thank about her.

TALK TO HER. Any relationship's survival depends on open and honest communication.

/r/gaysian Thread