The whole premise of this article is based upon the particular word choice of certain celebrities, rather than reality, because ofc the reality is that women are expected to cater to male orgasms, so much so that male orgasms/pleasure still define what the author casually refers to as "sex" (i.e. PIV). Articulations for female pleasure come out of this highly lopsided anti-woman context. To take Nicki or Amy's words literally and think "OMG THEY MUST BE COERCING MEN!!!" is really unfair and even kind of autistic tbh (saying this as someone on the spectrum). It totally fails to consider the nuance and instead immediately gears up for this consent framework talk, as if heterosexual relations aren't (usually) imbalanced from the get-go, as if men don't demand orgasms. Although they generally don't even need to demand them because that's already the expectation. (And they will sure as shit be completely stunned if you ever so much as suggest that they might not orgasm.)

So on this context? Yes, I do think women should be demanding pleasure from their male partners. Why even have sex otherwise?

So much of this is so shitty and offensive. The author is so intensely naive I feel kind of bad for her.

But. If I had to take one thing from this clusterfuck, it's that women can also be sexually coercive and—because things aren't always black and white—this can even happen stimultaneously with the brainwashed belief that male pleasure is tantamount. Granted, demands for female pleasure is a really poor starting point for talking about this, but I personally would have really benefitted early on from knowing that despite being female, I was also capable of sexually pressuring my male partners in such a way that would very plainly not be okay were I male. I really deeply regret this behavior; it was pushy and unacceptable, and I let my desire to do x sexual thing supersede my partner's feelings. Thing is, I had ZERO awareness that I could be sexually coercive since I am female. I thought men always wanted sex anyway. So I wish I had learned earlier that I can also be culpable of this sort of thing and that it is so important not to do it.