BROTHER WHILE YOU LAY THERE HOPEFULLY AS UNCOMFORTABLE AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN BE JACK I WANT YOU TO LISTEN TO ME.
DUDE I WANT YOU TO DIGEST THIS BECAUSE BROTHER BEFORE I LEAVE IN 3 WEEKS WITH MY 24 INCH PYTHONS BROTHER, I HAVE A LOT OF THINGS TO GET OFF MY CHEST JACK.
I DON"T HATE YOU BROTHER. I DON'T EVEN DISLIKE YOU DUDE. I DO LIKE YOU JACK. I LIKE YOU A HELL OF A LOT MORE THAN I LIKE MOST MARKS IN THE BACK BROTHER.
I HATE THIS IDEA THAT YOU'RE THE BEST. BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT BROTHER. I"M THE BEST IN THE WORLD. THERE'S ONE THING YOU'RE BETTER AT THAN I AM AND THAT"S KISSING ALL THESE VANILLA MIDGET MARKS ASSES BROTHER.
YOU'RE AS GOOD AS SMARKS ASSES AS BRET WAS. I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE AS GOOD AS BRYAN THOUGH JACK. HE'S A PRETTY GOOD ASS KISSER. ALWAYS WAS AND STILL IS DUDE.
WHOOPS BROTHER! I'M BODYSLAMMING THE FOURTH WALL IN FRONT OF 250,000 HULKAMANIACS IN THE SILVERDOME(CUPS EAR TOWARDS CAMERA).
I'M THE BEST IMMORTAL SUPERSTAR IN THE WORLD.
I'VE BEEN THE BEST SINCE DAY ONE WHEN I BODYSLAMMED THE IRON SHEIK IN FRONT OF 1.3 MILLION SCREAMING HULKAMANIACS BROTHER. AND DUDE I'VE BEEN VILIFIED AND HATED SINCE THAT DAY BECAUSE VINCE MCMAHON SAW SOMETHING IN ME THAT NOBODY ELSE WANTED TO ADMIT. YOU KNOW WHO ELSE WAS A VINCE MCMAHON GUY. ULTIMATE WARRIOR JACK. AND HE SPLIT JUST LIKE I'M SPLITTING BROTHER. THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ME AND JOHN IS THAT HE NEVER SLAMMED SGT SLAUGHTER AND ENDED THE GULF WAR BROTHER IN FRONT OF 34 MILLIONS HULKAMANIACS DUDE AND I'M GOING TO LEAVE WRESTLING AS THE 78 TIME WWE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION.
I'VE GRABBED SO MANY OF SMARKS BRASS STARS THAT IT"S DAWNED ON ME THAT THERE JUST THAT, THEY'RE COMPLETELY IMAGINARY. THE ONLY THING THAT IS REAL IS MY 24 INCH PYTHONS BROTHER AND THE FACT THAT DAY IN AND DAY OUT FOR ALMOST 30 YEARS, PROVED TO EVERYONE IN THE WORLD THAT I AM THE BEST IN TRAINING, IN TAKING MY VITAMINS, EVEN IN SAYING MY PRAYERS JACK. NOBODY CAN GO OVER ME!
AND YET NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I PROVE IT, I'M NOT ON YOUR LITTLE GREATEST OF ALL TIME LISTS BROTHER. I'M NOT ON YOUR GREATEST MATCHES LIST DUDE. I'M BARELY DISCUSSED, I DON'T GET TO BE IN YOUR FANTASY BOOKINGS JACK. I CERTAINLY NOT IN ANY OF YOUR CRAPPY TEW ROSTERS BROTHER. I'M NOT IN YOUR FAN ART DUDE. I'M NOT IN YOUR COMPILATION VIDEOS JACK. I'M NOT CHANTED JACK. I'M NOT ON WOOOTUBE BROTHER. BUT THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS, I SHOULD BE BROTHER.
THIS ISN'T SOUR GRAPES. BUT THE FACT THAT MARKS WANTED DANIEL BRYAN TO WIN THE ROYAL RUMBLE AND GO TO WRESTLEMANIA AND I'M NOT MAKES ME SICK DUDE!
OH BROTHERS, LET ME GET SOMETHING STRAIGHT. THOSE OF YOU CHEERING ME RIGHT NOW DUDES, YOU ARE JUST AS BIG A PART OF ME LEAVING AS ANYTHING ELSE JACK. BECAUSE YOU'RE THE ONES WHO WANT GOLDBERG ON TOP NOW. YOU'RE THE ONES THAT BUY THOSE 'YES' SHIRTS THAT DON'T SAY HULKAMANIA BROTHER. AND THEN AT 5 IN THE MORNING AT THE AIRPORT, YOU TRY TO SHOVE IT IN MY FACE JACK AND GET AN AUTOGRAPH FROM AND TELL TO SELL IT ON EBAY BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO LAZY TO BE A REAL HULKAMANIAC.
I'M LEAVING WITH THE WWE CHAMPIONSHIP ON JULY 17TH BROTHER. AND HELL, WHO KNOWS, MAYBE I'LL GO DEFEND IT IN TNA. OR MAYBE I'LL GO BACK TO CELEBRITY CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING.
(HULK RIPS SHIRT IN FRONT OF CAMERA.)
HEY, BRUTUS BEEFCAKE, HOW YOU DOING BROTHER?
THE REASON I'M LEAVING IS YOU SMARKS. BECAUSE AFTER I'M GONE, YOU'RE STILL GOING TO POUR MONEY INTO THIS COMPANY DUDE. I'M I'M JUST A 24 INCH SPOKE ON THE WHEEL. THE WHEEL GOING TO KEEP TURNING AND I UNDERSTAND THAT VANILLA MIDGETS ARE GOING TO MAKE MONEY DESPITE THEMSELVES JACK. THEIR WRESTLING IN FRONT OF THOUSANDS, WHEN THEY SHOULD BE WRESTLING IN FRONT OF MILLIONS BROTHER. YOU KNOW WHY THEIR WRESTLING IN FRONT OF MILLIONS BROTHER. BECAUSE THEY SURROUND THEMSELVES WITH GLAD-HANDING, NO LIFTING, DOUCHEBAG (CENSORED) YES MEN, LIKE PAUL HEYMAN, WHO GOING TO TELL THEM EVERYTHING THEY WANT TO HEAR, AND I'D LIKE TO THINK THAT MAYBE THIS COMPANY WOULD BE BETTER AFTER THESE SMARKS ARE DEAD. BUT THE FACT IS, IT'S GOING TO BE TAKEN OVER BE THESE VANILLA MIDGETS AND NOT READY BROTHERS AND THE REST OF NO DRAW TALENT BROTHER.
LET ME TELL YOU A PERSONAL ABOUT MARKS ALRIGHT. I'VE GOT THIS YAPPI STRAP AND ABOUT TO LET HULKAMANIA RUN WILD WHEN
MIC CUT OFF)