[CMV] Men are not, as RP asserts, the more romantic sex, who love idealistically and unconditionally

"People say "no" to premarital sex so that they can say "yes" to being married. Marriage requires fidelity all through life and that means faithfulness before the first meeting as well. Pre-marital promiscuity is already being unfaithful. Those who are convinced of the importance of premarital abstinence have a lifelong vision of marriage, one that doesn't begin at the altar but begins in the heart long before."

What do you think of this quote. I endorse it.

.....

But when not in love, RP applies?

RP always applies, it’s just often occluded by the hedonic treadmill: happiness is heavily calibrated to a person's expectations. For the vast majority of men, sex (with someone of approximately equal SMV) isn't something that comes easily, and when they do find their "love" they don't think of other women because they're unbelievably grateful for what they already have, because, the minority of kids who peak in high school and college aside, their current partner is almost certainly the best they've ever had. If you'd always expected to go to a mid-tier state school and you were admitted to Cornell, you would love that school, and you wouldn't think about transferring elsewhere. But there are people for whom Cornell is a safety, and they got deferred at Yale or Princeton, and they spend every minute of their 2 years there dying to transfer. I'm pretty sure Napoleon didn't think of conquering Europe when he was in cadet school - yet he threw away numerous chances for peace - and the consolidation of his dynasty - during his reign because he thought he could do better, and I don't blame him, a lot of the battles he lost were close calls.

Napoleon III had overseas colonies in North Africa and Indochina, yet he went after Mexico. That kind of ambition is senseless if not contextualized against the background of his uncle's achievements.

When you look at your stats and realize that you could've gotten into Yale if you had applied, your love for Cornell starts to fade.

......

I think the variance in male sexuality, in terms of the ability to appreciate true love - as you understand it - for the sake of true love, is very, extremely limited, and that most men are constitutionally capable of enjoying the playboy lifestyle if they had the capability of a playboy. I would attribute 95% of the variance in sexual behavior to differences in capability, and not to differences in preference. Furthermore, I don't think male sexual behavior is a good indicator of their character or their general suitability for long term relationships, mainly because I think men ultimately see relationships transactionally, and man-whores like Warren Beatty can discipline themselves when they want to - he's rumored to have slept with 13,000 women, yet his 23 year marriage is going strong and there haven't been any reports of infidelity.

Women often accuse men of having a Madonna-Whore complex, but I think women have a Meaningful-Sex-Meaningless-Sex Complex, as if sex with a man who was in love with you is fundamentally different (for the man, and ergo for you) than someone who didn't care about you. I don't think it's wrong to hate casual sex (I hate casual sex) but I think it's hating it for the wrong reason.

RP always applies, whether the man is in love or not. Most men in love just don't know what they could get if they trained themselves to be more charismatic, they underrate themselves, so their gratitude predominates. (They're still attracted to other women, they just don't think they have a chance. If a woman doesn't want her husband to look at other women, the solution isn't to find a good man who don't see strangers that way - that man doesn't exist, if he's extra scrupulous he'll look away or wear blinders, but when he's looking, the feelings are there - the solution is to have sex with him in the morning.) RP men see that if they customize their behavior in such a way, they can guarantee a girl of quality X, so their gratitude is less pronounced. They're not different on the inside. (On the other hand, promiscuous women and non-promiscuous women are really different, but it's not relevant here unless you want an explanation.)

If you read this, read this in the voice of the Tears in Rain monologue from Blade Runner. Trigger warning it's really gross. This too.

I'm not very experienced personally but I turn to books, memoirs, Reddit, and the results are the same. I watch HBO Girls and I think it's fantastic since everyone behaves in accordance with Game, and I'm pleased to read the reviews from female critics praising how utterly realistic it is. I read all the ecstatic reactions to Elena Ferrante on Twitter from women, about how it's just so real, and the world gets a little more Matrix-y.

tl;dr a man will always have polyamorous urges, but it’s often effectively suppressed by gratitude and lack of self confidence, as well as consideration for their wife’s feelings borne out of gratitude.

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