to change your view, you should realize and accept that you are a rational, civilized human being capable of overcoming your base emotional instincts using reason and observation

To some extent, I would agree. Except that sometimes I just... find myself drifting into the use of (and mental alignment with) words like "retard."

And-- and this is another reason why I've posted this-- I have on several occasions been an asshole troll here, especially on posts in subs like r/MadeMeSmile of handicapped people doing utterly mundane things and people just going ga ga for it.

I think part of this is me trying to throw up roadblocks before I go down that path that a lot of radicalized alt-right guys went down, making "edgy," racist jokes until suddenly they buy into the racism.

Shit, I dunno. Maybe I need to be told what an asshole I am, calling kids with handicaps 'tards in my head or on Reddit under a throwaway account.

Or maybe I'm just a product of the age in which I grew up, and I just need to be like all those old racist assholes who manage to keep it under wraps.