Close. It's a hidden way of telling people they have a responsibility to act a certain way in order to level the playing field.

What do you mean by that?

I think the only responsibility you have is to be aware of ways that racism affects everyone. And to act accordingly.

Do you perceive the expectation of responsibility to go beyond that? No ones asking you to give up your job for a black person here.

I can appreciate your viewpoint overall, but I think the question can be framed as who bears the burden of being uncomfortable when talking about race. Racial minorities are made to feel uncomfortable in their skin systemically all the time. The concept of privilege may make you uncomfortable and I think it should make you uncomfortable -- not because I want to bring you down or anything of that sort but because when people are comfortable, nothing changes. Moreover, if I have to bear the burden of being uncomfortable on the regular, I'm not going to perpetuate that discomfort.

To personalize with an example, (in my cis-white-make dominated field of work), I was in a new courthouse recently with a fucking dick judge and a courtroom full of white male attorneys. These racial/gender dynamics in a courtroom on any given day are not uncommon, but it's not like I'm sitting there actively thinking about everyone else's privilege, just brooding-- I don't think of it beyond noticing the dynamics. I just go about my business as if I'm in my "home" courthouse. Well, the judge is a dick -- to everyone, so I was expecting not to have a fun time regardless. What I did not expect was for the judge's refusal to hear me on my motion (because he said it was premature). Why, yes, your honor. I would agree in the typical case it would be, but if I may be heard, there are reasons specific to this case that justify heari. . . He cut me off, chomped a condescending denial at me and sent me on my way.

Now, yes the judge was just a dick overall, but he did not refuse to hear anyone else that morning. The court wasn't particularly busy, and from my perspective he had no real reason to not hear me on at least my explanation as to why I should be heard on the substance.

Later, when I get back to my office and bitch to my cis-white-make colleague about what a dick he was, I'm not going to say, "the judge wouldn't even hear me on the motion because I'm a minority female," because that's not actually at all how I felt. More importantly, I would be very uncomfortable proclaiming multiple such identities as the reason for the unfortunate episode. (Why should I have to assume victim status here?) What I did feel very strongly is that he sure as shit would have heard me if I were a cis-white-male. (And I'm sure I said something along the lines that I wish I had me some of that white-dick-kryptonite, which--fun fact--this kind of locker room talk is the origination source of my username. Full circle.)

The "privilege" facing a cis-white-male in this scenario is that 1) he would have been heard; and 2) if he wasn't allowed to be heard, he wouldn't have to spend the rest of the day wondering whether he would have been if he were a female minority, because that's just not something that would ever be on your radar. In that sense, you're goddamn right he is privileged and I don't feel bad saying so. (And it shouldn't make you feel that uncomfortable either!)

So from my perspective, why are we putting the burden of any racial discussion on me by focusing language around my "disadvantages"? I don't see myself as having any disadvantages. I see you having an advantage -- the biggest advantage being credibility through your very presence.

Since I have to carry some sense of the burden at all times just moving throughout my life, I think it's perfectly fair to ask, "why don't you bear the burden of discomfort for .00000000001% of your life when we're talking about race?" This is not something you have to live with. So for the rare occasions when it comes up, is it too much of a sacrifice? I don't think so. I might agree that the way the word is received by some is not necessarily positive, but I also don't think much could be accomplished by accommodating -- first and foremost-- whatever might be required to keep white individuals from feeling any discomfort in such a discussion. I shouldn't have to degrade myself into victimhood status so that you can avoid any hint of discomfort. That's not productive at all.

I hope that makes some kind of sense or at least enough to have changed your view a little bit.