I am curious what the sources of your feelings are. I am a white man in my 30s. I do not feel marginalized, or like society at large is saying "white men are bad racists who hate women." Sure there are people saying that, and sure they have very loud voices but they also tend to be those with the most extreme views at their end of the political spectrum. Actually I think I hear this most from very conservative groups in that they say that other people are saying this. But on a day to day basis as I go through life as a white man in my 30s I feel in no way discriminated against, or like I am being told that I am part of "the problem." I would also say that if you "feel disconnected and hated by women/minorities" that you should actively seek out engagement with these groups to seek common ground. However, in doing so, you shouldn't begin the conversation from a point of "why do you hate me so much" because it sets the wrong tone in my opinion by ensuring that everyone involved is going to get defensive.

I would however be genuinely curious to know why you feel disconnected from and hated by these groups. What do they do to you? How often are you in contact with them? Is it based upon in person interactions with people or more due to what type of media you consume?