Just pick an engine and follow tutorials. Whether it's youtube or udemy or anything. I think you're making this too difficult for yourself and preventing yourself from enjoying something you think you're not able to do.

I'm not a game dev, but I've taken a game dev course and really enjoyed playing around with the unreal engine. It was very satisfying, fun, and didn't require coding experience, although I do have that (it DEFINITELY was not needed for what I did, but it helped me understand how things work a bit). The people telling you to just jump in are right. I think you're holding yourself back by psyching yourself out. The "game" I made was an FPS where I could shoot cubes and they would explode in to pieces. That's it, and I learned all of it from handholding tutorials on YouTube. It was nothing special but I learned and had progress I could see (and play) which felt great. The first thing I learned in unreal was about landscaping tools. That was fun and immediately made me feel like I was making big progress. It's like using a map editor in an existing video game. I made a mountain range from a height map. There are youtube tutorials on this and you could probably do it in an hour or so, tbh