Yeah, I did it twice trying to go away. Hallucinations for days. I thought I was speaking English but it was gibberish. I broke my window trying to leave my house because I saw my family at the front door but couldn't get it open.

I also used it to disassociate at home. Usually 10 at a time.... that was for like a month until I read up on the side effects. Terrible. Terrible. I'm sure I made my TBI worse doing that.

I wish it on no one. It makes me horribly sad others felt the same pain and fear. Or want to escape reality for a little bit that bad.

I wish I had the words but I didn't listen to anyone either for a long time. My mantra is now forgive yourself. So all ill say is that if you're feeling this way, forgive yourself. You are not a sum of your failures, but a product of your accomplishments. Surviving everyday with a sick brain is a huge accomplishment. I'm sending my love.