Why do they have such a way with words when they compliment us? I think they become cold because they know it hurts, just like how they know exactly what to say to make you feel great about yourself. Healthy people don’t see every minor conflict as an opportunity to go scorched-earth. PwBPD see every conflict as validation of their fear of abandonment, and they maintain a vast armory of bridge-burning, cruel statements. If any given conflict could seem dire to a pwBPD, perhaps it follows they use as much firepower as they deem necessary to “win” said conflict.

Thing is, they are not strategists, they lack ample foresight and hindsight. They fire off missiles with no plan for after they strike their target. I think when they discard, they simultaneously become convinced that there’s nothing they can do to earn back your good graces. So instead of dealing with the fallout of their attack, they retreat.