Made an account for that i hope i can help somehow.
Life is "just" life but depression sucks. College is hard but depression makes it harder. Growing up is a part of any life cycle, but depression makes you think there's no bright side anymore, you just remember it or you just imagine how a "good life" should be, worst case others tell you how exactly a good life should be and you actually believe em.
I go to many sessions (after 2 years of lethargic depression) now. Besides all the therapeutic stuff, they all tell me i need support. I chuckled back then because I just burned all bridges in my phases. Family's black sheep and no friends anymore except the one dude who gets me, SO left me this summer. You need support to have a counterweight, who pushes you out of your comfort zone (that practically doesn't exist for someone with severe depression) - my therapist made me realize that i pull myself out of down phases, but pushed myself back down, not just like that but i used a failure or external factors as a "reason". So i came to realize that i cant elevate because i keep myself down - but the funny part is i "just" had to stop tripping over myself. My anxiety comes from the feeling of failing at everything -> no self esteem -> self loathing. That's a pretty dark place. So i try to have a honeymoon with myself how i call it. I have to love myself again - to make sure i can then give this love to others in a meaningful way, and also be able to appreciate the love i'm getting already. If you feel hopeless with your anxiety see a doctor.
Try to "meet" yourself for the first time again. Try to love yourself again, the bad and good sides, every human has those. Some hide it, some deny it, but healthy/balanced people know theirs and use it, so they can prevail. Isolation feels good at first, but only works for some time.
TL:DR - Go out on a date with yourself on a date and love yourself again. Everything sucks means you got a lot of negativity in your head. If you love yourself, you can see the beauty of life was all around you most of the time.