Remember that if you are under pressure or more anxious about something than usual in my experience it tends to exacerbate my OCD. It's like I need to have something that I intensely focus on or my intrusive thoughts and compulsions take over. I think what you mention in your post is the same pattern of doing/checking many of us experience. That good old "if I don't, then..." I've found that it helps to say those thoughts out loud to someone you trust. You can even write it on here, no one will judge you on this sub. I'm sure the majority of us have had the same and worst thoughts. When I find myself in that loop, I tell my husband what the possible worst scenario is I'm thinking about and I feel a bit calmer. It's just a step in-between anxious and a full spiral. Btw, have you joined any ocd support group? That really helps. If you want, you can join my ocd group. I'd love to have you there.