It's not easy out there. I didn't marry until I was 37, and then I converted after that, so I don't know the struggle for Muslims trying to date, but I know it was brutal for me, as a non-Muslim. And I eventually took a chance on someone I wouldn't have, normally, and it was the right thing to do. I'm not saying date a non-Muslim, but is there any chance there's someone in your circle whom you're discounting? Someone who deserves a second look?

Sometimes Muslim men approach me. They know they can't be >my friends, even my nonmuslim colleagues get that sense from >me. What do these Muslim men want? Am I reading too much into >how they look at me and what they say?

All I know is, I eventually learned how to ask where things were going, and there simply must be some way for you to do the same. If they're not looking for friendship then why else would they be approaching you? It does seem to me that while striking up a friendship isn't what you're after, there's nothing wrong with having enough of a conversation to encourage them to approach your mahrams if that's what they had in mind?

I guess what I'm thinking is, yes, submission -- but not passivity. They're not the same. And I wish I knew someone for you.