( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ✈️

Samuel L. Jackson is my Negrosona. He's everything I aspire to be; black, funny, manly, intelligent, a bro and a bad motherfucker.

I was only ten years old when my godmother first took me to see Pulp Fiction. I didn't understand much of it at the time, but even then I knew for certain that Jackson was a bonafide badass. After the movie was over she drove me to Mcdonald's and asked me what I wanted, to which I replied "a royale with cheese" in my best English accent. We shared a laugh and went home.

Later that night I had my first wet dream. I was sitting in an empty bathtub, naked, covered in a metric ton of sliced American cheese. I began to slowly peeled the cheese off of my arms, which was for some reason very satisfying. I kept taking the cheese off and laying it back on my skin repeatedly because it felt so cool. At some point I had the wonderful idea of wrapping two slices of cheese around my penis. To my dismay they didn't stick down there.

I got out of the tub and walked around the house searching for something sticky, still naked except for my cheesy suit of armor. When I reached the kitchen, I saw him. Samuel L. Jackson was in my kitchen. He stared me in the eyes for what felt like two minutes before reaching into his back pocket and pulling out a stick of Elmer's glue. I didn't say anything, but accepted the gift and ran back to the bathroom.

I applied the substance to my now throbbing member and covered it in cheese. I waited a few minutes for things to settle before attempting to peel off the greasy, orange squares. It was harder this time, but that only added to my arousal. As I peeled the second slice off, I came more than I ever have since.

/r/circlejerk Thread