Sometimes doing any emotional labor at all is a problem. It isn’t your responsibility to engage in long discussions with people explaining and defending basic stuff, especially when there’s already a lot of readily available existing information on the relevant topic. I don’t owe anyone multi page analyses of why, for example, disabled people shouldn’t be euthanized at birth or why women deserve equal educational opportunities. I don’t even owe anybody an explanation of freshwater snail reproduction, bra fitting or decapod pain response. I did a lot of research and put a lot of effort into those knowing things and nobody is entitled to my work; other people are equally capable of learning about things. It is a gift when someone puts effort into sharing information with someone else and it should be appreciated as such. Marginalized (or just knowledgeable) people shouldn’t be expected to spend all their time and energy educating people. That expectation does exist and it took me a lot of years to understand that I’m not obliged to be someone’s therapist or teacher when they’re not grateful or interested in equally contributing to the relationship. I’m reading “sensitive” in this context to mean someone who needs others to cater to their emotional needs to an extreme extent. Like the kind of person who isn’t just depressed sometimes and needs support, but someone who has spent years draining the energy of their loved ones with constant need for affirmations and attention without seeking medical help or trying to reciprocate the support they’re receiving. Like guys who use their mental illness to avoid ever having to contribute to household tasks like cleaning or remembering their family’s birthdays, and get emotionally manipulative when you express how you’re drowning. Or those guys who insist on ranting about their interests and feelings endlessly but express no interest in yours. Or guys who are so affected by your negative emotions that you end up walking on eggshells to avoid upsetting them. It’s one thing to be supportive and understanding, to take your partner to doctor’s appointments and talk them through hard times- that’s normal and healthy. It’s another thing to spend years being the only one in a partnership doing that stuff and to be met with anger and tears if you ever dare to express how tired and lonely you are. That’s not callous.