:]

Hey listen everybody, we had all better run our news sources by /u/Contra_Bombarde since he’s the only person on reddit who knows what’s real news and what isn’t. He probably watches Fox News so he will know for sure and can corroborate what Cheeto Emperor thinks is news too.

Now I know what you’re thinking, /u/jerbookins, how will /u/Contra_Bombarde be able to speak clearly enough to provide his informed and superior opinion with the Cheeto Emperor’s orange dick and balls crammed so far into his throat? Not to worry, though! The Great Orange dick and balls are just small enough to allow /u/Contra_Bombarde to choke down load after orange load of cum and provide his exemplary opinions about the news media that we so desperately require of him.

It will be an adjustment, I know. And I don’t want anyone to worry, a little time and practice, and with the carefully calculated dick and balls to Trump cum ratio, /u/Contra_Bombarde will become the only news source that we can trust.

/r/ImGoingToHellForThis Thread Parent Link - i.redd.it