I think looking back I understand things better and I feel like maybe these friends personal lives were one of the reason they behaved the way they did which I never understood at the time. They were all single. The one guy who was the worst to me was divorced when we was 23. Maybe they were all angry or envious because my boyfriend was in a happy relationship and none of them had that. The whole misery loves company thing maybe? Also I remember that flyer my boyfriend stopped talking to them, he did go and see them once to get something they had borrowed from him. The one that was the worst to me told my boyfriend that he was really angry and upset that my boyfriend allowed me to change things and then he started crying and told my boyfriend I stole my boyfriend from him. I thought that was very weird. I didn’t have a lot of sympathy for it because this guy would put me in tears. Screaming at me, sexually harassing me and touching me when I didn’t allow it. When my boyfriend wasn’t around this guy would talk about sexual things he thought about me and badmouth my boyfriend to me. And he screamed ALL THE TIME.

So my issue is that when I am mistreated, instead of thinking it’s the other persons issue, I immediately blame myself and think what did I do wrong? Then I get upset because I can’t answer that, because I know I did nothing wrong. But they were so good at making me feel bad and I really need to learn somehow to know that I shouldn’t feel bad.