Common Fuck-Ups Megathread (nsfw) - July 01, 2016

Just as with many other TIFU, this did not happen today, but rather about a week ago. After a long week of work being stressed beyond belief and sore from a good work out schedule my boyfriend collapses into bed unable to move. As I'm doing my nightly routine getting ready for bed, his sore self can't muster the energy to get the bengay off the desk and rub it on his side. Playing the role of the loving girlfriend I grab the bottle to gingerly rub some cream on his muscular physique. I myself having never used the cream (not the super exercise machine like the boyfriend) was not aware of it's strength. I squirt a glob onto his side and begin spreading it around after a minute I think to myself proudly, ta da! I announce that his side is fully drenched and looks ready to go to the beach having been covered in a layer of sunscreen. Now, apparently you are supposed to use this stuff sparingly. He rolls his eyes and asks me to rub some of it off with a towel, but feeling rather playful I instead proceed to spread the coverage area towards his stomach. At this point I am giggling to myself as quickly stick some in his belly button. As he sternly tells me to stop, I have one last quick move to pull...some cream on the nipple (surely this will make them nice and perky --and really, who doesn't like a nice perky nipple!?)...well apparently my boyfriend does not. I failed to think about the fact that bengay not only cools you, but heats up as well. At this point, he is frantically yelling at me to get him a wet towel and I panic, throwing a glass of water that was near the bed onto his chest region. Now not only does his nipple burn, but his half of the bed is soaked. And in all finality (as if I hadn't done enough) my brilliant mind could say at this point in time was, "Well maybe this will teach you to stretch before you exercise." TLDR; TIFU by spreading bengay on my boyfriend's nipple, remedied the situation by pouring a glass of water all over him and the bed, and capping it off with nagging him to stretch to prevent the whole scenario.

/r/tifu Thread