[US] Communication

Your situation sounds identical to mine. Its like ending the marriage doesn’t end the abuse if you have a kid with them. Especially when they are smart and underhanded with the way they dole out the cutting remarks and triggering comments.

My ex knows how to set me off without even saying much. The parenting app seems to be the main solution here. But what works best for me is only responding to the important parts of his messages that are about picking and dropping off our daughter and planning. All else is usually ignored. It takes work and training to get out from under that emotional control, but you ARE free now. You need to rewire your brain and choose to no longer be a victim. As long as you give him a reaction or torture yourself in solitude, you still haven’t left. I get it. Trust me. Everything you say sounds like I could have wrote it. I wish you all the healing. I know how hard it is and how running away and avoiding him seems like the only answer. But you have to be stronger than that. You were strong enough to leave him so you are definitely strong enough to calmly face down that 12 yr old little bully in a grown mans body.

/r/Custody Thread