So I have a question and I’m certainly not an adoption apologist. But I have never seen this answered and maybe you have a suggestion I haven’t seen. I’m an adoptee who was a foster and my adoption went poorly from a number of different directions. When I see the statement “always unethical” about every single adoption, it confuses me as to how that applies to situations like mine. I would agree that every adoption I can think of certainly comes following traumatic events for every child. I also strongly believe many things about adoption need to be reformed- but my bio mother and her family did not want me and she didn’t know who my father was. There was no option for a kinship adoption for me and I got shuffled around in foster homes- what was supposed to be the ethical answer for a kid like me? Are kids like I was always supposed to stay in foster homes for our whole childhood? It sometimes feels like that’s what is being argued and I am sure I am getting something wrong but what could possibly have happened differently for me? I was born when abortion was illegal and I don’t know what else my mother could have done. It sucks but the unethical part to me seems to be that my mother was forced to endure her pregnancy with me.