I’ve often wondered if It’s me.

But some things just can’t be explained away like that.

In my case she was a customer, when I first met her, 2 days later my ex wife walked out on me.

Then for months after meeting her I’d never ever spoken to on a personal level. Then she randomly ranted to me one day about her life for absolutely no reason at all when she was talking to me about her car and I found out after that few days before she did that my ex wife started changing her passwords to loving somebody else.

Then when we did start talking, it was obsessive, we was exchanging up to 200 messages a day. 5000 messages in 2 1/2 months roughly. I would be grinning when messaging her, and she would be laughing all the time which got the attention of her son, writing little bits of message when nobody was looking… sneaking off to toilet to message me and what we found was that we was so alike, understood eachother.

Then she started acting like we was in some kind of relationship but always kept feeling the need to refer to me as a friend… despite doing relationship things like greeting me morning and night, wanting to know about my day, telling me about her day, running to me every time something happened in her life etc.

But she was completely unaware she was acting this way and when I brought it to her attention she ran from it, dropped me like a stone, went off dating other men, deliberately talking less to try and make things more normal friends as she put it.

Every time we pulled away from eachother we just sprung back again like a bungee cord, a mutual friend described it as cycles because we would have times where we barely talked and times when we talked more… just kept going back and forth, we would talk and it would build up then both pull away… miss eachother and then start coming closer again.

When I cut myself off, she become really triggered and upset.

Then separated for 6 months And yet, during that time relationships so far at least don’t seem to be going the way she wants them to.

I started having situations where I would be in same place and time as her driving past her in the street… seeing people who looked alike her.

She carried on trying to message me while blocked even though I wasn’t receiving them, asking mutual friend how I was.

Now we have found our way again back talking to eachother, she has said things like just because we wasn’t talking doesn’t mean we aren’t in each others thoughts when after 6 months we should have both pretty much forgotten about eachother.

It is though up and down though.

But how can any of the above, and more that I’ve not detailed as it would be too long be explained as some kind of mental health obsession?

Something is acting on us both, just presently we are both running from it.