I promise this is a happy, I just have to give back story on it first, which is sad.
Back in September I began dating someone. I was starting to like them quite a bit. I told my mom about him, and she told my dad, and apparently my dad flipped out because the guy in question is a different race from me. It broke my heart, I never thought of my dad as a racist, it never even occurred to me that he might have any type of issue with it. I'm 31 years old, for fucks sake.
I spent days crying and mulling things over and hating myself, and convinced myself that there were things about this guy's personality I didn't find compatible, and broke things off before our 3rd date. I cited mental health issues and needing to take care of myself (which wasn't completely untrue, as part of my world view had been shattered). He was extremely polite and understanding, though made it clear he was disappointed, because he was really starting to like me.
Since then I've thought of him often and battled through arguments in my head of whether or not sacrificing my happiness so my father will still love me is worth it. In my mind I thought "He's 72, maybe I'll just stay single until he passes away one day" but then felt horrible for thinking of him passing, because I do love my dad. I respect him, I have fond memories of childhood. He's so proud of me and the woman I've become. Reconciling my original view of him with such an ugly part of him was very difficult to get through.
But something finally clicked into place. I'm over feeling sad. I'm done feeling like I can't date someone because of my father's prejudices. I'm not going to miss another opportunity for potential love.
So I texted the guy from September and asked him out for drinks. I'd still really like to date him, if he will have me. I'd like to come clean about the whole situation and why I suddenly broke things off. He replied back and we made plans. Maybe nothing will come of it, maybe everything will. I don't know, but for right now I have a small sliver of real happiness.