[contest] write a tiny story about me

This is the story of /u/WatchJayneCode, an elite British MI6 operative (a.k.a 1010)

Directly involved in the fall of the Soviet Union and [REDACTED], he is now tasked with the finding the man behind the world's most feared organization...

/r/random_acts_of_amazon

An organization that kills people... With kindness, and knocks targets out with... Gifts

Something so feared, that the world's leaders wouldn't dare (or think) to infiltrate this gift ring. One shouldn't them though, as RAOA has recruited the top mercenaries available, who have been trained to welcome you on site. 1010 had been assigned with a difficult task, certainly harder to complete than dissolving the USSR!

Given a squad of crack paratroopers, a pocket knife, a laser watch, an amazon gift card, and a box of raisins. MI6 and DEV-GRU give 1010 the green light to drop into the RAOA HQ silently at night. The world's finest strategists have conjured up this operation, which, according to them, is completely foolproof! All 1010 needs to do is follow the instructions, it's that easy to do, right?

Alas, 'tis not the case. The squad of paratroopers were gifted down by Stieglitz G. /u/Bugabee, a German assassin who participated in the Battle of the Bulge. Why she's not 90 and on a wheelchair, I don't know. The location of the paratroopers is unknown, presumably mind controlled by the RAOA to gift.

Now, /u/WatchJayneCode was not a mindless killing machine, he was nervous, since he had just witnessed a fucking WW2 veteran in 2016 shoot a paratrooper flotilla down with a fucking!

As 1010 pushed on, we see him in the process knocking a guard unconscious with his own bare hands. Checking the dog tag of this poor guard, he noticed it was /u/Billy_The_Kid. 1010 heard a weak "Ha" emit from Billy before finally lying down, uncomcious.

/r/Random_Acts_Of_Amazon Thread