You've been taught to focus on others. To do as you're told, look at what you're shown, believe what you're told about it and when there's nothing there, you're taught to wait - either for instructions or entertainment. Either wait or work - find something "constructive" to do - otherwise, they just want you to sit down and shut up and...ya know what? Fuck that.

So - what to do, what to do, what to do...hmmm...

Ya know what? I bitch about whiners in this sub but, really, what chance do they have? Soooo...here's the question - how does one find interests that actually interest them?

First, forget about others. Forget about looking cool, impressing, appeasing, entertaining and fitting in. Fuck that. Just fuck it. It won't get you anything except more of the same because people don't stay impressed, appeased, entertained or inclusive. They're all over the fucking place so, fuck 'em. All that will do is create expectations of you and your life isn't their's to expect things from. They're on their own, just like you, so fuck that.

I don't mean be mad or mean or hate or whatever but just forget about them. Forget about what they think, do, say, how you appear to them and whether or not they "like" you - it has nothing to do with you and, most of the time, what they're thinking about is impressing, appeasing, entertaining and fitting in too so, fuck that.

How does one go from that weird, twisted social and/or entertainment vigilance to an interesting life? How does one find one's interests? One's interests that don't have anything to do with being entertained, making an impression or just others - in general?

I didn't have that sort of upbringing so help me out, eh? How might one de-program oneself? What was that "mildly entertaining" class you were talking about? Or was it just entertaining?