It was a pleasant afternoon and I was no older than seven. The doors and windows were securely closed because it was July in Florida, you could easily hear the air conditioner pumping away in the background of our small Mediterranean apartment. I was no older than seven and fixated on the few Barbie dolls I was playing with while laying on the gray colored carpet, which accompanies most homes. My lazily bulldog, Gabby, was nestled beside me but still awake with curiosity as she witnessed me favoring these dolls over giving her the most wonderful pets.

Eventually her curiosity got the best of her and she picked up her stocky body to further investigate my childish games. When her nose bumped against the side of my "school house" Barbie that was when I grew tired of her efforts the attempt at distraction. So, with annoyance I blew in her face hoping that it would ward her off but it did not...no, it did not.

Gabby fucking latched onto my face and blood spewed all over the carpet AND my Barbie dolls. Blood...blood everywhere. I'm now 24 with a soft crescent shaped scare when all I wanted to do was fucking marry my Bratz and Barbie in front of my ever watchful My Little Ponies. Fuck you, Gabby.

Oh, and I get to say I've had a nose job.