I had a coworker who was a nice guy, and he was older, logical, very smart, calm and mild mannered. But every once in a blue moon he would come alive and say the funniest shit I’ve ever heard in my life and then go back to being calm and mild mannered. Well call him Adam.

We were maintenance. One time we had a pit in the plant floor that held electronics get flooded. The supervisor (who he HATED) walks up and says “So what are we gonna do?” Adam, staring at the water filled pit turns his head and says, “Just staring into our new wishing well, wishing you would go the fuck away.” I died.

Adam also hated another one of our coworkers, who happened to be an old grumpy man, pushing 350 pounds or so in weight. His toolbox area was a horrible mess. One day, Adam and I had to look for a part in fat mans tool area. Adam moves something on his shelf, and a big ass chunk of pipe rolls off the top and clocks Adam in the head. Adam screams “Fuck you and your booby traps you fat fucking bitch.” I died.

Once, I was handing a shift over to Adam. He came in at 3am and I was working on a machine that went down, and it was a real pain in the ass to work on. As I was explaining the problem to him, he was calm and nodded in an understanding way. We walked to the machine, he took one look at it, screamed “Suck my fucking dick, piece of shit asshole.” Then turned to me and calm as could be says, go home buddy I got this under control. I died.

He would occasionally get a bug in his ass and just start making shit up about people. One time after our boss left, Adam asked me what I thought the boss was doing while we were at work. I said I’m sure he’s drinking a beer and mowing the lawn. Adam says, “I’ll bet he’s sitting on his couch drinking Zima, watching golf in his ICP face paint.”

The guy was a riot... miss having him around.