So far this last month has been super rough. First my stepfather died and my mother (65) who lives next door to me (36f) and my fiancé (31m) has needed a lot of support after losing her husband. Suddenly out of nowhere my fiancé decided that his baby brother (21m) needs to come live with us. Up until now he lived with their mother but she just got remarried and moved with her new husband and has flat out refused to let him keep staying with her. He has known this was coming but instead decided to go party for spring break in Florida then spend the last few weeks holed up in her empty house that has already been sold. So I don’t really feel bad that he has nowhere to go now. He has gotten offers from both the dad and the sister to move with them but I guess the sound of our place just is most enticing (sister lives a couple states away, dad is not so close and there are people who are immunocompromised there so he’d have to quarantine with them) for reference they all have houses and we have an apartment.

I am just not feeling okay about the idea. I’ve already said that if he has nowhere to go he can come with us. I only have about 6 rolls of toilet paper and the shelves have been empty for weeks. I know I’m going to have to supply meals and food because the kid is young and had his mom feeding him until now. So I’ve been laying out my complaints and wishes if this happened but I literally just woke up to him matter of factly telling his friend that “my brother’s moving in soon” and he has not asked my mother who is our landlady as well. Who has her own requirements. So I woke up just telling him that I don’t feel like my mental health could handle this. I have bipolar 1. I’m disabled from it and this means my fiancé handles all the bills so I guess to him that means he has more of a say in this than me. As soon as it came up this morning it became a huge fight. I told him I’d just go stay with my mom, he started saying he’d just go out and get a place with his brother, he also keeps saying his brother will get a job and won’t be around all the time so that also means he’ll be possibly bringing home Covid to my mother. I just felt like my feelings are not being considered at all here. Right now I’m thinking about calling his mother so it becomes clear to the other family members that I’m not a fan of the idea. I still think she’s ridiculous for kicking her son out of the nest at this exact moment. But she’s allowed to be selfish I guess and I am not. Am I being an asshole? What the hell do i do?