I don‘t really know what this is about, but I‘ll try my best what it was like when I had kind of a hard situation like this. This is not really a happy ending story, but you may want to hear this.

So, I knew this girl that was at some point - because of her shitty family and mental condition - pretty much a wreck. And it only got worse on and on. I always tried to be there, we met up to get her out of her house, we talked about what she was going through and I think it really helped her. This were like the only times I ever saw her actually smiling. It was just wonderful to see her happy, but it also had problems to it, for me. Now, this might sound like I‘m just selfishly crying - which I might do but not realize - but this really had an impact on me. During the time we met, I - for several reasons - wasn‘t really the happiest person, to say it nicely. Maybe that‘s why we came close… I don‘t know… But for sure, it wasn‘t really helping to care all the time about her not killing herself when she wasn‘t in a mental hospital. Thinking of this in the present, it was hell. Some days she just wouldn‘t show up and I thought- well, you get it. It wasn‘t nice and even made me question life and why I would continue. (I don‘t blame her, I just say that it definitely wasn‘t helping all the stress). This was of course an eccentric reaction, but I couldn‘t help it.

And then, contact broke off because of another hospital visit. Call me a shitty human being, I may deserve it, but I actually didn‘t have this burden anymore. I didn‘t have to worry about a person and I felt how it didn‘t affect me anymore. This is wrong, of course, and you shouldn‘t let it go as far as I did, but it helped and now, I‘m here, having at least somewhat of a feeling of having control over my life and I just stopped to worry. I don‘t want this, but it‘s happening. I can‘t help it. „Getting your life back“ just seems to be more worth to oneself than caring for another person.

And you may understood what I want to tell you from the subtext: Please also think about yourself. Be there for her and listen, that‘s all you can do, but don‘t let it affect you too much, even if it may hurt. You of course need to think for yourself about if this is morally okay, I just wanted to put this here to kinda warn you. DMs are open, if you want to know more about my whole situation back then, in case you’re going through the same and need more of my more-or-less advice. I wish you all the best :)