Could you/Have you dated someone who you’re not physically attracted too?

Physical attraction is no small thing. I can't imagine leading someone on in hopes that something might spark eventually. In my twenties I remember being guilted into going on dates with a guy because he made arguments about 'not being judgemental' and 'giving him a chance.' What a happy load of horsesh!t that all was. I allowed myself to be guilted into doing something I didn't want to do.

Attraction is often a matter of chemistry between two people, a thing that's simply there or not, and it's okay when it's not.

I was friends with this much older senior guy, a bright person who was very handsome and witty. He revealed to me once that he had an adult gay son who was struggling to find a suitable partner. It felt like I'd hit the jackpot, hearing this. I couldn't believe he had a gay son and found it even harder to believe this son would have a hard time meeting a partner.

I ended up texting with this adult son and found him distant and we hardly clicked or had much in common. All gay men were collectively lumped into one or two kinds of people according to him and all were shallow and only interested in looks. He sang a similar tune to the guy I went on dates with in my 20's.

When I saw what he looked like things clicked and made sense, as he was rather homely looking and had none of the physical attractiveness his father naturally had. I felt sorry for him. I didn't find myself attracted to the guy at all and wasnt interested in hearing all about how shitty gay guys were.

He'd set up a good life for himself but was lonely. I'm sometimes lonely too, but that wasn't reason to start dating the guy.

/r/askgaybros Thread