Could you clarify what you mean by permission per incident? I'm not sure how it came across that way besides my wife's clarifying question last summer. We've been good with the concept of non-monogamy for a while, I had just been waiting for her to be ready to physically go through with it. I never asked her permission with any of our previous offers, it was always something like, "So and so just asked if she could come home with us. What do you think?" Not in a permission way, but in an interest way. She would always decline because she was too nervous or she wasn't totally comfortable with the person. And then I would decline because I didn't want to jump into it without her.
During our really good, long talk last night she told me that she would now be up for any of those offers that had been made over the last couple of years - she just had to shake the nerves out. She told me that she knew I was holding out until she was ready, so now please get out there and either find a girl on my own, or let's get with our friends together. She's good with any of it. Now I'm the ball of nerves.