My father left the church and my mother divorced him over it. Similar experience in counseling - my mother refused to compromise one iota.

The result? All six kids out of the church now. Only my mother stubbornly remains and our relationships with her are tenuous as a result.

That was the long-term result. In the short-term, we all demonized our father for destroying our family and being led away by Satan because we were all brainwashed kids ourselves.

This will take time and it will probably be one of the harder things you ever do but never doubt that it will be worth it in the end to give your kids that extra perspective. I am infinitely grateful to my dad for having the courage to walk away even though at the time it cost him everything.

P.S. Since it seems pretty clear what trajectory you're on, don't delay in getting the best damn lawyer you can find. You're going to want to have a favorable custody agreement to make sure your kids have that exposure to life outside of the church. Best of luck.