I realize it came off like I'm willing to sacrifice our friendship for this, I was a bit harsh/concise, but its not really like that... Christy is something else. she can be a bit much but I love her. she's special and she cares about me too. we can honestly get through anything. if talking about something like this, something she talks about all the time, is enough to break down our friendship, then it wasn't as strong as I'm sure it is... if there are weird feelings theres no need to continue. maybe we wont be the same after if we do continue, but we will eventually. if she decides she can't be friends with me anymore, I'll be devastated and cry and mourn and try to talk it through with her, but I'm a big girl. I'll eventually pull up my pants and move on and let her move on too. I think it would be dishonest and a little selfish not to at least talk to her after thinking so heavily about her.

the risk that she will shoot me down or feel awkward after a while is pretty minimal... she's not that kind of person. even if we have to laugh it off and move on I don't think she would need to drop me. that said, I understand; this isn't a necessary thing and I'm not 100% decided but weighing my thoughts. she's already decided to be in an open relationship or break up with Mark. (something he has agreed is necessary. he's a smart dude, I trust his judgment.) I figure that she's already looking for chicks and guys to bang... maybe they would like the option of friends. maybe group sex isn't something they're into but its not like this is coming out of left field.

also... yes. we have discussed that. if this works out. and we're all happy and all equal, and it continues, we may think about a free fourway thing where there are threeways all around. everything is unsure though. we're blind people feeling our way through the dark. we might fuck up and trip but we still want to learn and try and take chances.