Couples who have different sex drives, how do you make it work in the bedroom?

You try to communicate and realize that it's a very, very bumpy road. Patience also helps. Presumably, if you're a couple that's been together for a while you already know there's some compatibility issues and you factor that into the overall health of your relationship - it could be a factor in ending your relationship; this really depends on how much value each and both of you put on the intimacy in your relationship. Intimacy is a big deal, usually for at least one of those involved.

We're a heap of hormones. The danger really comes in when you're in a committed relationship, perhaps married.... when things dramatically change. In the case of a sudden disability or illness, I think most human beings have enough compassion to at least try to navigate this. It gets tougher, for instance when early onset menopause kicks in: "What?!?! I thought we'd be fucking like rabbits until we were 55!" - trust me, it's tough. When someone's complete biological approach to intimacy changes.... like they don't want to be touched.. etc. sets in.. it's HARD. They may not hate you.... but what happens when your spouse has no desire for you, or anyone else. It's difficult. There are no answers.

What about someone getting fat, letting themselves go, etc? Well.... you look for the positives. You compromise, you discuss rationally, you let your partner know how you feel, while being sensitive - you do not insult them. You ask questions. You recognize that people do change, that age takes its toll. If you think lifestyle changes are in order, you have to be participative and supportive in those changes. You also have to give your partner a chance.... what you don't want to do is throw out ultimatums that undermine your mutual respect for one another. Finally, you recognize that you may not be able to change your partner's behavior. Eventually, again, if intimacy and / or desire is important enough to you, it may be enough to leave.

There's no right answer.

I will state emphatically that menopause sucks ass.... and suddenly being out of whack in the bedroom when days turn to weeks, to months, to years is remarkably difficult. So, for anyone getting into a serious relationship - understand that intimacy can't be the hallmark of your relationship - hormones are a bitch. People change.

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