If I may just interject here and idk if part of me telling my story right now to throw it out there so I can tell people but at the same time it really is worth saying I think. There's been this one girl that's been apart of my life for the past twenty years (I'm 26 and she's 25). We met in kindergarten and we both can safely say we were each other's first crushes. Well she ends up going to a private school the next year and 6 years go by without ever knowing what happened and by that time it was just a memory of her. I would often find myself wondering who she was and what she was like. Well low and behold the Advent of social media and she finds me on bebo lol she reached out to 7th grade me asking if I remembered her and of course I did. Of course I tried to hide the fact that I still thought of her often without an explanation as to why. But we reconnect and sort of swoon over each other and begin to like eachother as only 7th graders could, nothing really physical ever happened one because we were so young but the relationship kind of takes its course and things sort of come to a dead end but we remain friends.
We end up going to the sane high school and things sort of always remain different between us throughout it. We get along great and share many laughs as we did in our days in 7th-8tg grade. But sort of just remaining friends. We did have our fair share of intimate hookups but never on a farther level. One thing I've always admired about her is her self control. It never transpired into anything more than just being friends with an occasional intimate moment with each one I treasured dearly. Not because it felt as some sort of conquest but because with her, it always felt fucking different and just something I always truly wanted and could just see myself being truly happy with her.
Things kind between us start to become more distant as we go our separate ways into college and beyond. Except the occasional chit chat on Instagram or the occasional comment on each others post. Or seeing each other on a very oft occasion at parties. Until this summer.
She had been in a long-term relationship for the past few years but I had reached out to her to see if she would wanna go hike and just catch up since it had been so long. But the way things were worded I could tell something was different in that department like just something seemed off so I kind of backed away from the conversation because the last thing I want to do is be a point of contention in someone's life and relationship. Not that she would ever do anythimg dishonest, she's the most loyal and honest human being I've ever met and fuck I've always loved that about her even if it did at times break my little heart as a young high school boy but there's nothing more respectful than being upfront and honest. Anyway, a couple months go by and she reaches back out to me to go on that hike and catch up. At this point maybe I assumed to quickly but my assumptions were right. Her relationship was pretty much over the first time we talked about reconnecting a little but after a little subtle statements and questions turns out it was over.
Well for me this was kind of stars aligning it seemed. I had been struggling for a couple years had some really dark moments and just couldn't get my shit together up until this last winter. Things started to really change for me then and what I had been through really matured me in a lot of ways that I needed to. But anyway we start to really hit it off and just talk for two weeks straight before we actually do Meetup. We talked a lot about things we wanted in life and how we felt about relationships going forward and just what it means and we really started to see how on the same page we were. I cannot put into words how it felt to see her for the first time. She's so breathtaking and her smile lights up the room and every feeling I ever had for her came rushing back. We go for our hike share laughs as we always did and we have truly the most beautifully intimate moment ive ever shared with someone. Wasn't sexual just staring into each other's eyes and feeling each other and just holding one another and occasional make out. Well skip two months to now the intimacy and just attraction for one another has been nothing other than beautiful. I've never been able to communicate with someone like I can with her and I've never been so clearly on the same page with someone. I've never felt this way about another human and I've never have felt this loved by one. Truly I feel for the first time in my life what love is.
Morale of this long ass post to whoever may have read it was that don't lose the hope. Holdout and wait for the special someone who gets you,who stares into your eyes and just that alone tells you how they feel about you, for that person who when they touch you and hold you, you feel as if you can finally breathe for the first time.