I've had birthdays that made me feel really special and I've had birthdays that made me cry. I've had birthdays that make people look downright devastated if I tell them the story, and others that make me crack up laughing every time I think about them.

As you get older you learn that there's no reason to make so many allowances for the people around you. You grow up thinking that you need to make the best of what you've got, and while there is value in that attitude, you're perfectly free not to. You don't owe anybody anything and it doesn't make you a bad person to put your own happiness first. There comes a point when you have to. I didn't figure it out until I was around 23.

I'm older now and I feel more responsible for my own situation. Certainly I try to make what I've got work first (and communicate), but if I put the effort in and it looks like nothing is going to change, then I know the ball is in my court (not theirs). It's not just in my court, I own the ball. I don't even need to justify what I do with it. I had to stop treating my life like a hand I was dealt, and realize that I could take any card I wanted from the deck if I tried hard enough. You can too.

I hope you can find your happy birthday.