If I'm to self-report, I might as well go all in for science.

I mean, for me personally, it's not that I don't believe they're not the gender they claim; to me gender is the social role you choose to embody. If you say "I think I'm a metalhead now.", I'm going to accept the same way.

I'm far from an essentialist in any other thing, but in my personal choice of whom I pursue in romance, I can tell my brain involuntarily registers the body as still being a (heavily modified) male body, even if it is the male body of someone who has the social role of being a woman. How is it a "male body" even when "heavily modified"?

Well, the XY chromosomes and whatnot still are there. Modern medicine doesn't have the capacity to create some miracle of a biotech virus (that's the likely technology you'd use when overwriting DNA) to change that.

Does my benis have the ability to sense chromosomes? No, but those chromosomes still being there and having been there for all your life prior to hormones and whatnot does affect your body, and that amounts to differences that you can notice.

My head also tends to see the vast majority of male bodies as disgusting if I try to imagine any physical contact. It's not that I don't accept the gender part, it's the biological sex part. I guess my brain wants perfection and dislikes any type of maleness on a physical level.

Is this a mental health problem for me? Potentially, but I'm already mentally crippled. I go to therapy every day and the progress on the first priority things like "continuing to live a normal life" is slow as fuck. If someone tells me what I've told you here regarding my thoughts in my head regarding my personal choices in romance is a problem, I'm sorry, but I'm balls deep in problems right now, and is is my problem. No trans people out there are hurt by what I myself recognize as an irrational obsession.

I'm still on board for every policy you guys are, I'm still on board for trans acceptance broadly. Every rational position I have remains. In this one thing I can't help but be irrational.