Critique: Query

Dear XXX,

The Golden God is dead and Mara intends to steal his corpse from the temple, right under the priests noses.

As a necromancer, she knows that claiming the body of a fallen god before they reincarnate, will pass its mantle to her. She will have the power and memory of a fallen god--power enough to bring her father back from the dead.

She flees her temple school with Julia, an orphaned thirteen-year-old girl, who insists she's now Mara's apprentice. Suspicious, but bemused, Mara decides to take advantage of the situation and lets Julia tag along, provided she looks after the unpleasant task of preserving her father's body.

Agreeing to the arrangement the two girls travel to the Golden Temple, where they succeed, but find that they are not the only one's who have plans for the fallen god's body. Her own teachers, all necromancers themselves, decide that it is too much power for a young girl to have. Better it rests in their wise, decagenarian hands. They hunt Mara and Julia, planning to kill or imprison the girls.

Mara's problems are compounded when she realizes that half the world wants him for the same reason. With empresses, knights, priests and living gods, all determined to seize the body for their own, Mara decides to fight, but her resolve is challenged when Julia is captured and as she realizes that she cares about the girl, almost like a sister.

Mara is forced to choose who and what she is willing to sacrifice to achieve her goals.

(Title) (words) (Blathering about genre and something meeting something and how your authors are great and I adore them)

I am a journalist working for Evil Corp. I've been published in Evil Times, Evil Week, Times of Evil, and Evil Today. I have X years of experience writing about boring evil stuff.

Best, Totally still has a soul that hasn't been sold to Evil Corp.

/r/YAwriters Thread