For the most part, my answer to this issue would be little or none.

But I feel some other issues may be coming into play here. I don't know why you didn't have much of a relationship with your mother growing up, and I'm sure there were good reasons. Maybe her attitude now is indicative of those reasons. Her reaction of yelling and crying, and feeling that you're trying to "mess with her" is disproportionate.

However, from her perspective she probably felt shut out of your life while you were growing up, and probably wants to be closer to you now and to her future grandchildren. She's also the "odd woman out" by being the only white member of the family.

Without knowing anything about the dynamics of you family or your relationship with your mother, maybe there is some way you can involve her more in your lives without getting into contentious subjects, and see if there's a way to build a healthier relationship. I don't think you should give in to bullying, but if there's a healthy way for you to be closer, that might help things. Just don't discuss baby names with her. There isn't even a baby to name yet.