I would too, but what stops me cold is just what the things are that I need to sort.

I am currently in a LTR. I haven't been happy for quite a while, but he's a good man, and he loves me, I know he does. The spark is gone, it feels like a friendship...I haven't had the stones to get the ball rolling. I have so many fears, and the unknown scares me.

A line from a song always runs through my head "existing and living, are not the same" and I know I've just been merely existing.

This man comes along and ignites something inside me I haven't felt in at least 10 years. I wasn't looking for it, didn't expect it at all.

I do know I don't want to end up like my parents though, miserable and together.

I'm sorry if this is a jumbled mess. My head is just kind of noise at this point.