Cutting ties with someone who you love but is also unintentionally bad for your mental health

Not only are you fully within your right to cut them off it is probably exactly what you should do! I fell in love with a girl named K in HS, I was obsessed with her really. She only wanted to be friends. I tried for years to change her mind.

I was always there for her even though just as you described being in her orbit was torture. She would actually use me as an ear to vent to and a shoulder to cry on when her numerous sexual relations with other guys would lead to embarrassing gossip in school.

There was actually a running joke that I was her emotional boyfriend and all the guys she would mess with were her physical boyfriends. I even picked her up drunk some nights from a guys house she was messing with.

He was the QB on our foot ball team and he would carry her to my car make a jokes saying that he could always count on me to get her home safe after he was done with her. Looking back, pretty sure he was basically raping her becase she was totally unconscious several times, but she would always go back the next weekend so idk.

I loved her with all my heart and I wanted to be there for her no matter what. But I hated pickling her up from his house. I hated what people would say about her, I hated when she would talk to me about guys she was sleeping with. I constantly heard in detail the things she would let guys do to her, guys who didn't even care about her. Honestly I really wanted kill myself, I almost did actually.

After HS I realized the situating was untenable. I asked her out officially. I told her all my feelings explicitly even though she already knew how I felt about her. She said she loved me also, but still just as a friend, her very best friend. She kissed me on the cheek.

That wasn't enough for me though, and a few days later I decided to cut contact. I explained to her that I couldn't be there for her anymore becase it was killing me. She cried but said she understood and we went out seperate ways amicably. I went off to college in a new city and never saw her again.

I heard from her once more 4 years later. She messaged me and said she hoped I was doing okay. I texted her back that I was and hope she was also. No fairy tale ending, that last message was 5 years ago and I never saw or heard from her again. She passed away from a drug overdose in 2018, so I never will.

It took several years but I did get over her. I never fell in love quite the same way again, but I did find love and I wouldn't trade my current partner for anything. I will always have love for K, but getting away was the only way forward and I suggest you do the same.

/r/LifeAdvice Thread