Whew. I feel this one. My mother is always pulling the "because I'm your mom" card. It's like I have a jarring physiological reaction every time she does it. My instinct is to say "no you're not". She has expressed to me how much she always wanted a daughter and all that, but she was good as emotionally absent during my childhood. For the past couple of weeks in therapy I've been mourning the long ago death of my childhood dog, because I've realized I always thought of that sweet dog as my mother figure. She felt like the closest thing I had, even though, like you, I had that mom who helped with cooking and studying and things like that. There's obviously a lot more to being a good enough mother, as we know.

Good luck with everything. You're not alone.