It will be hard. Acknowledged to yourself that it will be hard. If you're used to being around narcissistic parents, you will have deep seeded trust issues. Your Nparent (or parents) will have manipulated you to be their little doll to play with and dress up, so when other females want to share something they enjoy with you, you will have a conditioned 'reverse response' to something positive.

You will probably have those conditioned 'reverse responses' to anything positive for a long time. When you want to be polite, kind and make friends, you will be triggered into being distant and distrustful. This is how Nparents ruin you. They make it so you cannot, in even the smallest ways, make successful friendships outside their control and abuse system over you.

It is going to be hard, girl. You basically need to meet people, if it is somehow possible, that understand that you have built in defense mechanisms where your initial reaction will be the opposite of how you really feel or want to act.

Those very same reactions is how you kept the Nparent from abusing you. That's how they leave their lifelong abuse. In order to survive how they abused you, you had to develop defense mechanism that were so distasteful that it pushed the abuser away, or scares them off.

Unfortunately, it is part of their manipulation and abuse system, because it scares everyone else off in the process too... BUT! If it removed you from the Nparents abuse ties, it will be worth it. You'll just have to ease yourself out of those fucked up defense mechanisms, where they associated potentially good hobbies that women share with something negative for you all the time.