DAE feel like a bad person on the inside?

Your post described me up until my 30s or so (M). Looking back on it, I attribute my emotional epiphany, so to speak, to two things: Zoloft and a lot of introspection.

After getting on an SSRI life suddenly was easier to handle. If life was a motorcycle I was riding, then my emotions had a nasty habit of yanking hard on the handlebars rather than pull and in the process redline the engine for no reason. When you suddenly are in control you can finally relax a bit and look around.

Or put another way, I felt like the bike was always way too sensitive and powerful, but I finally slowed it down enough to breathe and have time to really figure the thing out.

Imagine being put into a 7.0L race car without training and a gas pedal that has two speeds: idle, and wide open, and then being told to get moving. That's what life felt like to me for a long time. Once you get the vehicle under control, now you have to learn the rules of the road, aka dealing with others 'normally'.

/r/aspergers Thread