Oh yeah. Sometimes I’ll pass a reflective surface and see a cute girl and think, “Wow she’s pretty, I wish I looked like her” and it’ll only click thirty seconds later that it was my own reflection.

In my head, I’m grotesque. It makes it very difficult to leave the house some days. Many people have described me as looking almost identical to Vanessa Hudgens and that FREAKS me out because I would personally describe myself as looking almost identical to Andre the giant. It makes me sad to type this out because I wish I was exaggerating, but I’m not. My body image is just that shot.

Sometimes I like to play this game where I pull up a picture of an objectively beautiful actress (Kiera Knightly, Margot Robbie, Lisa Bonet, etc.) and I’ll stare at them and focus on one aspect of their appearance or another until I can distort my brain into finding flaws and making them look weird and ugly. Just to remind myself that anyone on earth can look ugly if we hyperfocus on the ratio between their nose and their mouth or their small fine lines. Other people don’t see us the way we see ourselves and that comforts me.