DAE have talents undermined by N-parents?

NAunt damaged my credibility back at high school, early 2000. She became my guardian when I was 15 as my father finally got a good job in germany for several years and I did not want to shift to a german high school only to see my good grades plummet.

She found I dressed too boy-like, so she went shopping and brought me clothes (essentially controlling what I'd wear). I come from a household where we dressed somewhat conservative or plain, I usually had jeans, cute shirts with a print, sneakers, you know. At my aunts there's a very different culture. Their TV is always on, booming on high volume on a music channel all day. She and her daughter are the bleached hair, fake tan, bling-bling, bare midriff, twerking type. So of the 10 or so tops she had bought, 7 were crop tops and to add insult to injury, my own clothes were gone (I later learned she kept them in her own wardrobe closet, which was in her bedroom which my cousin and I were not allowed to enter). If I'd complain about her choice for me, I'd get a lecture about how ungrateful I was and how my mother should stop dressing me as a boy (I was 15 then already, I dressed myself, what was she even thinking?!).

The first three days I put on the blouses she bought, but the day after when I got out of the shower I found a crop top very demonstratively laid out on my bed. With nothing else to put on I wore the horrible thing and in vain tried to keep my coat on, until the teacher told me to take it off. Ofcourse me being me, wearing a stupid glittery crop top with my muffintop belly I was quickly made fun of. It wasn't until I cried on the phone to my mother several times, after being told the first few times to give it all a chance (my mother, while supportive, is far too much of a mediator who wants to please all parties involved), that she convinced my aunt to get me some blouses instead. Ofcourse in the weekends, I had to agree to wear some of the clothes I did not want to wear to school. I always ended up getting talked into getting highlights in my hair, which I guess was the lesser evil in comparison.

Some people may not see the trouble with a crop top. In warm countries it's probably fashion and convenient, but here in Europe back around 2000 they were mostly worn by promiscuous young women who wanted to draw a lot of attention, especially at that age.

/r/raisedbynarcissists Thread