Thank you, that's actually not bad advice. Sometimes I find that if I stay in bed, the negative feelings start to escalate in a really intense way. I'll know that I need to get out of bed before I start to spiral, but that thought will sometimes get me mad and then continue the spiral. Sometimes I feel like, "I literally just woke up, can you give me 2 minutes to open my eyes before you force me to start moving like my life depends on it?"

I've been getting into the habit lately of waking up and almost immediately start working out. Just so that I can listen to really loud music, work through some of my aggression, and just like collect myself. Sometimes I have really, REALLY shitty nightmares, and I have to process them while also dealing with the morning BPD episodes.

I'm 32 years old. I feel like I've lived through enough sometimes, and the thought of having to wake up like this for another 20-30 years minimum... I just can't even comprehend it.