Yes, great question! Ndad was just not into fatherhood from the get go, but my Nmom was actually pretty awesome until I was about ten. She taught me to read at 4, started piano lessons at 5, cooking at 8. By age ten I was sewing my own clothes and reading at a 12th grade level. I owe so much of the good in my life to developing those talents at an early age.
But. It went downhill steadily after I started my period and turned into a teenager with crushes. In those years Ndad was the abuser, and Nmom his dedicated enabler. By age 20 I didn't know what Narcissist meant, but I instinctively knew it was dangerous to sleep under their roof for more than a couple of nights.
That led to two decades of progressively lower contact. In my 20s, I moved 1800 miles away from them. We talked on the phone once a week and visited once a year. Those visits were torture, involving at least one ambush regarding the state of my soul, and my walk with Jesus.
Nmom started out as an enabler, but she went full wacko when I announced I was going to nursing school at age 32. She was an RN, and they wanted me to go to med school, and Ndad never really forgave me for not making him the progenitor of a physician with his name.
But with Nmom, it was personal. If I talked about school she'd find a nitpick and deride the quality of my program. She rarely asked how it was going and didn't come to my graduation, which was also on my birthday. After graduation, it was even worse. Her ability to bullshit and/or gaslight me was seriously compromised now that we were professional peers.
By 2009, the abuse spilled over in public after Ndad had a rage over dinner in a packed restaurant, and Nmom gaslit me as the instigator of the argument. They disowned me in 2012 and we've been NC since, except for a medical "emergency" which I ignored.
There is no question they are getting meaner with age. They're 70 and have relatives who lived to mid 90's. It's such a relief to be out of the picture now, because it will only get worse. And they will reap that which they hath sown.