I agree with you when it comes to effort from bull but it's a strange mixed bag across the board here because most of those pairings only ruin one half of the romance for me

I'm 100 percent in agreement about bull but dorian's romance doesn't lose anything for me because it feels equal in a way. I feel like he's just as happy with the inquisitor as he is with bull, since you get plenty of scenes of him fretting over your reputation for being linked with him (whereas he's worried for HIS reputation if he's sleeping with bull), his entire romance scene which is one of the best written in the game in my opinion, and coles comments about his fears of rejection and how happy he is make it pretty clear he's emotionally invested from the start. Whereas bulls relationship with him feels like borderline hate sex turns FWB turns into more over time, which feels more organic than the inquisitors relationship with bull did. But while I really like dorian and bulk together, it actually makes dorian and the inquisitor feel better to me while making me not care about bulls relationship outside of the comedy parts. It helps that dorian's romance ends on a somewhat tragic note for both bull and the inquisitor, whereas the bull ending for the inquisitor feels like the most tacked on epilogue I've ever seen except for the betrayal one which actually makes his "romance" make perfect sense and is the only way I could play it now. But bulls dorian epilogues are some of the saddest and most romantic of them all, clearly there's an imbalance.

It's the same with blackwall and josephine, well actually lesser since they never really become a couple and are clearly over it by trespasser. Blackwall goes way out of his way for josephine in a way that he never did for the inquisitor no debate, but josephine if anything, feels like she's settling. She won't date blackwall because of his station, but will for an elven, dwarven, and qunari inquisitor, male or female (considering there are other race gated relationships, and the entirety of dorian's personal quest, that makes it notable). She constantly worries about you getting hurt and after the duel, if Cullen is to be believed, won't stop smiling and humming in joy. The inquisitor in turn goes on a giant fetch quest across thedas to find an old family crest she briefly mentioned, helps raise her family into prominence again (granted friendly inquisirors do that as well) and dueling for her. that one feels like there's more investment on her side than with blackwall.

Sera and dagna is fine because I mean the woman marries you if your together, and clearly loves dagna if you don't get with her. it doesn't seem lop sided to me.

I understand why they would write it like this, dorian and bull need to hook up organically and dorian isn't going to make the first move there, but it still results in half of the romance able characters in those situations feeling like they just don't care as much about the inquisitor in comparison. I'm fortunate in that I never had in interest in either him or blackwall but it's still so bizarre to see.