I live in St. Louis as a transplant, and I can't say I understand the place.

I haven't been able to taste properly for months, as a result eating St. Louis style pizza has actually become more enjoyable. Cancer treatment improved their pride and joy. That's just sad.

I've never lived in a town that celebrated mediocrity so much. I mean Taco Bell is everyone's favorite fast food place. They eat it sober!

Possibly even sadder is they miss having the Rams to root for.

I've lived here 2 years and I still get worried phone calls from friends all over when St. Louis makes the news. In fact I woke up to texts yesterday about Ikea. Apparently even shoplifters in St. Louis are mediocre. After all, the lady had a frying pan in her pants.

There are definitely redeeming qualities about the city. I mean it really is so much cheaper to see the Cubs and Blackhawks play. St. Louis fans hate being "invaded" but honestly it is just a lot of transplants finally excited about decent events showing up in droves.

They also love their trivia here. That's great, because so do I. But the town is so petty that there is almost always a St. Louis specific round designed to make sure only locals win. I don't think the FBI will be investigating the hacking of trivia nights, but I know my Houston friends wish they would.

As long as the first question people ask me is what high school I went to, and then treat me suspiciously when I'm not local, I'm going to continue make jokes at the city's expense.

Although what I've listed are just facts. And that makes it less funny and more sad.